I really enjoyed Buddhism, it related very much to my rational side because one of the basic principles of Buddhism is to experience things and discover things for yourself- to find the facts. And when it came to meditating, it really relaxed me. My anxiety lessened so much due to my nightly yoga and meditation. So I have to say that Buddhism is certainly in the running to be my religion...but.... I don't know....I want to feel that AWE. That awe you get when you know you are in the prescence of something powerful and bigger than you. I used to feel that way about the Christian God when I was 13. I felt this power when I would pray or when I would sing songs of praise, but then when I witnessed first hand the self righteous hypocrisy that is practically eating Christianity alive....it was like a flipped light switch and I have yet to feel that inspriing awe again. I have tried so hard to feel that way about Christianity and Jesus but I just can't get there, it's like I'm "chasing the dragon" but instead of a drug high I am seeking a religious experience that I just can't grasp, but maybe as I become less innocent and grow older, it's something I'm not supposed to be able to grasp.
So if I am unable to find something that truely moves me, I know I will be able to at least find something in Buddhism. Something that can calm me and still my mind....but perhaps Buddhism is something that will eventually inspire me. If I keep up with the meditation and opening my mind, body and spirit up to the universe perhaops I will have one of those moments I read about where the universe just enters me and consumes me and makes me one with everything that is around me!.....push come to shove I'll at least get a few moments of peace of quiet. Any mother can relate to how wonderful that can be, it's like a fucking vacation.
